Breathe
by Bhryn Astairre
Summary: Cloud is a bitter person. He's loved, he's lost, he's hated, he's feared and taken part in many incredible things. But given a second chance, will he do anything differently? [FF7 charasFF8 setting]
1. Chapter 1

_- A Cloud Fanfiction -_

_Disclaimer: I don't own FF7 or FF8. I wish I did, I could make them do all kinds of wrong stuff then, teehee!_

_A/N: I love Clorith pairings. I have to admit, they're my favourite pair, with Tifa/Aerith coming second.  
This fanfic has the characters from FF7 set into the FF8 world._

_So here, enjoy this new fanfic. Probably will be updated sporadically..._

- **01: Remembering to Breathe** -

_"I'll be leaving soon, and I don't want to lead you on...  
__...so if you feel the need, close your eyes and share this dream  
__It will be eternity..._

_Forever for tonight,  
__I will be there, to hold you through the night...  
__Forever for tonight  
__I will love you, forever for tonight..."_

_- Blessed Union of Souls -_

* * *

_Breathe._

_In and out, take in the world, expel your fears. In. Out._

_I know the routine of it by now. I have practised it for so long that it has become reliable, just like second nature and I find it easy to continue pretending that I am breathing, not just making my chest rise and fall._

_I have lived an incredible life. I have seen many incredible things. I have done even more incredible things._

_What things?_

_Let's see..._

_Once upon a time, I was born in a northern border town called Nibelheim, cold in the winter and sparse in the spring. We made fortunes from tourism, small time trades and the new reactor due to be built and completed, with honours and nods from the ShinRa Corporation. My father, I don't know him. I don't suppose I ever will. My mother, she was vibrant, alive. I'll always recall her that way._

_I grew up insecure, probably some by product they'll say, of lacking a father. But through insecurity, I harboured a childhood flourish of equally childish love for a girl beyond my reach, Tifa Lockhart. Lackheart would have been closer. She wouldn't have stepped from her ice throne if a gun were pressed to her pretty pale neck, back then. No, she never saw me, lonely little boy and his lonely little fears. So one day, after a failed attempt to be noticed, I started to get stronger._

_I picked fights._

_Sounds brutish? But it worked. I applied to Soldier and left Nibelheim with a handful of promises I intended to break and forget, leave everything behind and in Midgar, this city of dreams, city of new beginnings, become a great Soldier, worthy of returning home, kicking down that ice throne and pushing all their faces into the mud, cause then, they'd have no choice but to remember me and my name for once!_

_Only..._

_It didn't go according to plan._

_That's called 'Fate', if you haven't guessed by now. Fate, a shorter word for 'kicking-you-in-the-balls' was having a field day with my life. I wish I'd never heard of the bloody city and their infernal corps!_

_So it was, years after the fact, I came back to Nibelheim. What a dump. It had degraded, but Tifa was there. She looked worn down. I stayed away; I wasn't sure what to say; now my pride had the hole in it called 'failure to enter Soldier'. So we paraded around each other and pretended we never saw one another. Then Sephiroth took one hell of a turn towards batshit crazy and burned the whole town down. **Awesome**, **go** you!_

_**...not.**_

_Pretty much everyone died in that fire. I don't remember escaping, Zack probably helped me._

_Zack. My friend. My best friend._

_He'd never once asked me to be something I wasn't, ah, how I appreciated that, how I loved to be just me. Thank you, Zack, thank you from the bottom of my heart._

_...so as it was, some time after the Sephiroth and his 'Mummy loves me so much' incident, I came to in Midgar with Zack's sword. I didn't know it then, but he'd been shot dead by those treacherous ShinRa dogs. But to my surprise, years must have fallen away in-between my recollection of events, because Tifa was there, because she was older and tired, care worn. Where is your ice throne now, maiden? Oh... it melted. When did that happen?_

_I still don't have the pieces of the puzzle that is my life, not all of them. I get the general picture though. So from that moment on, she took me in and I worked as a mercenary for Avalanche. I did some pretty awful things, bombs, killings, uprisings and rebellion. But it was worth it, because slogging through the dross with Tifa and Barrett, I eventually fell from grace onto **her** front garden._

_Aerith Gainsborough._

_Such kind eyes. You didn't once pretend I was something better, or should be something I wasn't. You didn't force flimsy words and promises on me, even after we had to take on ShinRa to get you from harm. With companions too many to name, we took up my cause of following Sephiroth because he seemed the natural target, because I hated him for what he did to Nibelheim, because he'd really ruined that pretty upholstery on the top floor of the ShinRa building. Hell, it could have been because he used the same hair shampoo at me, at that point in my life. We followed... because he called, because he wanted me to follow him._

_Tifa, Barrett, Red, Aerith, Cait, Vincent, Yuffie and Cid. And me._

_...we waged war on Sephiroth's trail._

_Along the way, you reached out to my caged heart and let it fly once again. You filled me with dreams, with need, with knowing and I was able to breathe freely, I was able to... fall in love._

_When?_

_...I don't know...when I fell in love. But I did... I fell hard. I fell so hard it hurt._

_Did you return it?_

_A secret whisper of Sephiroth trying to find something in a hidden temple and we spent time in the Gold Saucer, hunting for clues, hunting for remnants of your forgotten, forsaken past, sweet flower. My sweet, wilting flower..._

_So I took you high above the dross of the world, where fire bloomed in the sky like the flowers in your beautiful gardens, and you'd lean to see, so I instead could watch the smile in your eyes and how I enjoyed it, how I loved it so. And just as suddenly as you were laughing at me, trying to tell me another secret you didn't have words for, you were gone._

_The next time I saw you, you were dead._

_Sweet, sweet Aerith; dead on the end of the slick and sheer masamune blade, sliding forward and never once, a single breath escaping your broken body. Did you know? Did you?_

_Pointless._

_Break my heart then, cruel Fate! Kick hard as you can!_

_So to your watery grave I let you sink, let you float free. Go on... be free._

_Incredible things, we waded north through snow and blood, to face the wound of the Jenova crash site, the calamity from the skies where it hand plunged deeply and wounded the world so bitterly that it wept the very life force. There, in amongst the snow and the clutter, we fought hard._

_...and I sank into despair._

_You know the rest, it's pretty standard fare. We clubbed together, we overcame, we kicked butt and even in the end... even then! You saved us. You saved me. How can I repay that?_

_So now, I lie here, trying to breathe, because it's all I can do._

_Out and in. Expel what I was. Take in what is happening._

_Out... in..._

_...out..._

_...I have done... incredible... things..._

* * *

She was old. Not simply 'older', but old. She had wrinkles where she would have frowned in brief amounts when younger, the laughter lines shared sparingly with the world that had encased her in ice from the moment she was waking, to the moment of her passing. It wouldn't be long now. She was marginally surprised she had managed this long.

Every breath was pained, but her eyes filled with a thousand secret tortures, they gazed at the two pictures on the dresser that bore marks of old coffee cups which never had ownership of coasters, a cracked vase and a doily that had been stained some time back with a drop of the aforementioned coffee. There were other pictures of course, spotting her well to do home, as befitted a supposed Saviour of the Planet, as befitted someone who had lived their life and tried hard to never regret, tried hard. She'd tried hard, hadn't she?

She'd loved, a few times. Reeve, her deepest love, her greatest joy and most secret woe - ah, that he should fall and die before her, but that came with the gap in their ages she could only assume, and bitter the brew that was remaining life, she drank it and lived, because he would have wanted her to. Two sons, five grandchildren and a handful of close friends that were fading memories, but splinters, two sharp and painful remained in her heart.

Vincent had gone looking years back for the answer to his constant mutations into other forms, and had never returned. Reports surfaced when she was into her thirties and already a mother, swept from her feet with the bustle of her children's lives, that his cloak had been found in a waterfall gorge sculpted from crystal. Yuffie had gone in a similar way, in battle, but then... wasn't it a ninja right to die in the midst of the thick of fighting? Yuffie, she had eventually escaped the shackles of her lonely childhood and become a truly wonderful leader for her people, as well as the loving aunt for Tifa's children when she and her husband needed time away. Cid had been the first to go, in his sleep. Such luxury, that age brings sweet surrender instead of the struggle between what is life and what is only the hell of not being with your loved ones anymore. Shera had followed him under quickly enough, and so it was Tifa and Reeve had seen to it that their family always had someone to support them in their darkest days. Barrett had passed much the same as Cid, sleeping softly with his daughter Marlene taking it in her stride so well, that Tifa sometimes wondered if perhaps, she too carried some Cetra blood in her far distant past she knew nothing of. Red, unchanging if a little grizzlier, had returned home and despite the distant letters, she knew that their phase of living together as companions was over. Proud little Nanaki was a warrior grown now, after all... and Tifa had her own life to cope with when suddenly Reeve died of heart complications brought on by working with the dangerous, essential Mako for so long.

The grief had almost been too much.

But... never as bad as those times before.

Her hand crept from under the covers and smiling, she brushed her fingertips over the flowers placed on the bed stand, yellow and soft, glowing with life that was quickly failing her. The picture on the left was in a frame of solid silver, scrolled with flowers and stars.

_You liked flowers, Cloud, and you loved those stars, Aeris. Now you're both touching them without me, both reaching to the sky far, far away. Reeve's gone on ahead, he said he's waiting for me... won't you both wait for me too? I won't be much longer... my best friends, my love... please..._

Tears filled her eyes and they moved without volition to the other photograph in a frame next to it, of herself in the wedding dress she'd picked out, a brilliant splash of white and her favourite blue accents around the hemline. Beside her, Reeve tried hard not to tug at his collar, all the while holding onto his excited and radiant bride with one hand, a smile curling the corners of his mouth and hitching his goatee only a little. Behind them, the congregation was clapping and before them, Denzel and Marlene waved at the camera, older and still as youthfully exuberant. She'd only been twenty six then.

Aeris had been missing from her life for well over five years, Cloud, for less than a year. Two best friends, taken, in a blink of an eye.

Only the pressing engagements of her own future had prevented her from going totally insane, immersing herself entirely in the wedding, in the reception, in the dresses and those picky little details she always had a tiny problem in sorting out; she supposed it was just her nature to gloss over the little things.

_I wish you had both been there, to share in my joy._

_Not much longer now. Not at all_.

"Mom," it was the voice of her eldest son. The boys, both of them, had taken time off to try and take care of her. She knew their pain, it was in their dark, warm eyes whenever they looked at her, that the person who had once been so vivacious and alive, was slowly fading away at their fingertips. She re-assured them, she was never in any pain, it was simply her time to go. Like all things, her time had come.

"I was just thinking, that's all."

Kane, the elder of the two, nodded and leaned back, his expression tight and pained. He looked very much like his father, but the younger of her sons, Jace, had inherited the unusual eye colour that was predominant in the Lockhart family, wine red and those eyes swam with emotions. She wasn't as good at hiding his emotions, but ever since he was little, he had always confided in her. A mother's boy, many would call him, but she was relieved for such a good relationship with her children, especially after their father had passed on. They filled her hours with calls and little emails, with visits from her grand children and community support in the village they lived in.

_You'd not recognise Nibelheim now, Cloud. It's alive, it's vital. It's the world I wanted to see when I was growing up; it's the world Aeris would have loved to be in. Is this her promised land? Did she leave it behind for our children, and our children's children? What a precious gift..._

Her breath caught with tears and both sons looked to her. Jace took her hand, his was so much larger and hers much frailer than she ever recalled.

"Mom, just breathe," he reassured her.

_But after all this time, after all my losses, can I breathe easily?_

_This is it. This is it... and it's painless, like falling asleep._

"I need to tell you," she said in her voice, the only thing left about the woman who had run the life of the Tuetsi family clan for so long, who had bullied, coaxed and downright cajoled them into living their lives to the fullest, the only thing left that was strong. The only echo of her youth. "About things."

Kane looked uncomfortable, hands in his lap but his eyes on her, she looked just as steadily back; no one had gone toe to toe with her in the past fifty years and won. Not since Aeris had bullied her into letting her go that fateful night...

"I have lived," she went on softly, "An incredible life. I have seen and done many things. I have loved, and lost... many... many times. But in the end, I truly lived. Your father often said, he thought I was living my life for two people. In time, he was right. I lost my best friend when I was so young, in such a terrible way that I should have prevented. I suppose I lived for her too. You look around yourselves and all you see is grass and life. All you see is life. That is her last gift to you. Not to us. My generation, we are passing, we are gone. When we are gone, only your memories of us will keep us alive, and the stories they tell. Stories of how Cloud the Valiant took down the great ShinRa..."

_But in truth, he was frightened of himself and everything in his head that he couldn't understand..._

"...of how your mother faced down a horde of demons to protect a sacred cave to the tribe in Cosmo Canyon..."

_I reacted in blind panic. There were feet and fists, I panicked because I was so inexperienced and I didn't want to die, so I fought._

"...of the Last Ancient who gave up everything, so we could have tomorrow."

_But she said she'd come back. She promised... she promised..._

"I've heard them all before," she whispered and looked to the side, "But the truth is... Cloud and I, we hardly knew each other. I wish my life had been exemplary, but it wasn't. I hated, with all my heart, what this world had come to be. I hated myself for never knowing what to do. I bore it with me like a wound. Cloud was so traumatised by what ShinRa had done to his own fractured personality that it took everything we had to keep him moving sometimes. And Aeris... sweet Aeris, she had the most reason to hate of all of us, and yet... she never did. But in the end, even she couldn't keep a simple promise. That's all those people are, fairytales."

"Mom," Jace whispered with a wince.

"I think... I loved well enough. I love you both... take care of her last gift, it's all we have left to give to you now..."

And she was breathing slower, and slower. She sank into the bed and her fingers felt weak, the light outside growing dim and someone was calling her name from far, far away. But she smiled, because now she could sleep and somewhere, in that blackness that curled around her, Cloud, Aeris, Reeve... they were all waiting for her.

_And so that's the end, isn't it? It's over_.

* * *

"Is it all over?"

_The stars twinkled gently_.

"No... we've decided, to move you along, to migrate you."

"Migrate...?"

"The Cetra, your souls don't belong to this planet... so we'll move you to another planet where magic is growing there. Think of it as a second chance."

"Like a game over screen and you get to press continue?"

"Sort of, very much like it, only you'll be changing characters a little, at least some of you will be."

"...will... everyone be there?"

"Maybe. Are you ready?"

"...are _they_?"

"Does it matter? You only have one decision to make, to rest... or to find out if it could have been any different."

"He needs that chance... I need that chance. I think we all do."

"So you'll caretaker a new planet?"

"I'll do my best."

"That's all we've ever expected of you, Honoured Daughter. That's all."

_She breathed. She breathed softly in and then just as softly out. Good, she still remembered how to do it. She still remembered. Those memories, they'd mostly be stripped away to start with but she wondered, deep in her heart of hearts, how much would the strings of fate still bind them all together. Whether anything would really be different this time around..._

_And fading, she left, between one breath and the next._

* * *

_The shimmering figure saw each soul off, sending it on a journey far away, to start a whole new story on another world that needed heroes, that needed them more than this world did now it was safe and protected. That world would need their strength and their weaknesses, it would need their love and their fears, and it would need everything about them if it was to make it through._

"But I have faith in you, Aeris, Honoured Daughter, and those that go with you."

_...and the Cosmos smiled._


	2. Chapter 2

-**Breathe**-

**02: Re-Introductions are Necessary**

_"You're tailored just to fit the changing season,_

_Baby, what is this? We are two star crossed bits of an equation..."_

_-December in New York by Thea Gilmore_

* * *

The book slid back onto the shelf as he glared sullenly at the console and the little figures that ticked over and around each other, incomprehensible sometimes but familiar to him. He was still signed in, he remembered and tapped around idly as the tutor at the front of the class droned on and on with a voice that wouldn't have trouble putting hyperactive teenagers to sleep. He glanced up briefly through his pale golden hair with the fringe that he couldn't help but want to keep long, it kept the sun from his eyes after all, at the tutor, a pale slender man who wore his leather trousers and tight fitting tank top of dark red well, completely with zipped up leather sleeves, the left helpfully adjoined with golden armoured bits towards the hand. His hair, the colour of midnight, was unruly. How often had he been tempted to bring a brush into class and leave it on his desk as a helpful 'hint'? He wore those stupid glasses again. Nitwit. They made him look like a nervous myopic tweed wearing idiot.

His dull blue eyes moved across the room, the backs of people's heads greeting him - his own stupid fault for picking the back to sit at, trying to remain out of people's way and out of their reach. That girl, two seats in front, looked like she could do with some dandruff shampoo. A snort to the side made him cut his gaze across, to the man who lounged in his seat and grinned at him indolently.

Zack Almasy. How long had he and this buffoon pretended at being friends? He was such a jerk, acting like he was so cool and handing out his little 'penances' from that pathetic little huddle of teenagers who tried to call themselves the disciplinary committee. Apparently, according to Zack who wavered between friendship and rivalry with him, he was already blacklisted on some thing he referred to with incredible creativity as, "the list." Dun, dun duh!

_Yeah... right_.

He rolled his eyes and looked back at his monitor, picking out the two Guardian Forces which had been assigned to him after just pulling his skinny ass through that god forsaken test at the fire cavern. Now that was an exercise in futility. Pick a time limit, sure... he'd picked the ten minute one, being so badass cocky... He wished he could time travel back and stomp on his own toes and remind himself that ten minutes wasn't enough, not when his partner, their illustrious tutor who wavered back and forth at the front, still putting the front rows to sleep, had about as much direction as a deaf bat.

Fantastic. So by the time they'd stumbled in to Ifrit, which he'd tucked away inside his warm and comfortable jacket somewhere to junction later, they were battered, lost, confused and distressingly low on time. So he concentrated on smacking the GF (_as they were loosely called_) hard a few times with his weapon of choice whilst the leather clad tutor proceeded to fire off as many ice spells as he could. They'd done it by the skin of their teeth.

Needless to say, he remained less than enthused about just how spectacular his score might end up being in the end; he wasn't expecting fireworks, not after that performance. He brooded, wondering if he could ask for make up test on paper or something, he wasn't too bad at written tests, he had the memory for the figures and numbers if nothing else. Subconsciously he thumbed the deep cut running down his forehead, a present from the jackass in the white coat who was heading to the door - whose back he scowled at before blinking.

Class was over already!

_Crap..._

Hurriedly picking up the two discs with the GF info stored on them, he stood up and brushed a hand through his unruly pale locks and inwardly groaned as he saw the tutor coming his way. Vincent Trepe wasn't much older than himself really, a year older if that, and equally unsure about himself at times despite his often bossy and orderly personality. Up close, when he'd taken those daft glasses off, his eyes were ruby red and slightly circled underneath with signs of tiredness.

"I wanted to make sure you were alright," the older man said in that dry, wispy sort of voice he had. "You looked very pale earlier and you've been stroking your cut slightly more than usual."

"I'm fine," was about all he could bear to say, looking up sullenly at Trepe, willing him to find something fascinating somewhere else than wherever he was.

"Good, good. You can always drop by Dr Hojo just so he can take a look over you?"

"Yeah." -_Over my dead body. That guy gives me the damned creeps...-_

"The field mission will be starting in an hour, get your things together and meet in the main foyer. I had your field uniforms sent to all your rooms in case you missed it earlier, whilst brooding to yourself."

He gave a start, did this man miss nothing? Mentally revising his opinions on the somewhat boring, dusty tutor stood before him he grudgingly nodded, whilst having some grace to look vaguely abashed. He hated this, being told off; especially when they tried to do it when no one else was around, like it was a kindness. From someone not much older than he was, to start with, made it all the more worse. "I'll be there."

Vincent quirked a smile, it looked really wrong on that pale thin face that seemed as though it had never been outside of a library before, and with a wave of his hand, went to his adoring little group of adolescent girls who seemed to flock about him no matter what he did, or where he went. Perhaps it was how he looked, perhaps it was because Vincent had been a prodigy, making it into the elusive SeeD ranks by the time he was just fifteen. Fifteen. At that age, he'd been busy trying to figure out how to put the blame of yet another failed escapade onto... onto... ah well, he didn't remember and it probably wasn't important either way. He hoisted his books into one arm and started for the doorway, as behind him the Trepies, as they sickeningly nicknamed themselves, chorused out;

"See you downstairs, Leonhart!"

He found himself figuring that saying nothing would be a blessing in this case. So he hurried through the sliding door and into the hallway. This place where he studied, it was a strange mechanical place called Balamb Garden. Sometimes, he was almost sure that he should see a big cannon and ruined grating dripping with green ichor that was good, not bad... something good about it... but those thoughts would be cast aside as soon as they started. It was large, in the sense that it housed hundreds of students, machines, cars, a refectory, and training centre for the students, magic halls, library, even a hospital. It had tiers... rare it was that anyone descended below the ground floor, but up above were the tutoring offices for the students and teachers alike and even higher, the faculty staff and Headmaster offices. He wasn't particularly curious about it, it was a home and they kept it fairly clean so he had no reason to argue. The fact they did his laundry for him was a bo-

He rebounded, startled for the third time that morning and discovered that someone was sprawled out on the floor before him. Colour rising in his cheeks, he realised not only had he almost mown down a girl that looked like she was made of skin and bone, but that her skirt (_scandalously short_) was hiked up to flash her knickers at him: he noted they were pink with little blue flowers before turning his eyes away in an alarmed hurry.

"Ow," the girl said, sitting up with a rustle, "Sorry about that, you alright?"

She was asking how -he- was, when she was almost knocked out by his own body weight (_and really, given that he seemed underfed compared to the majority, which would have been an awe inspiring task unto itself_). Amazing. He risked a glance back and found, to his relief that she'd covered up the frilly pink undies and was grinning ruefully up at him. Her hair was dark and bobbed to her shoulders and her eyes were dark too, a dark grey and a big grin seemed etched on her face.

"Fine," he said quietly.

"Oh, hey," she got up, she really was all leg, how did she stay standing? "Has the class over there finished!"

"Yeah."

"OH no!" the girl wailed, "I was supposed to register and damn it, you know today my radio would have chosen to stop working, today of all days and they say first appearances is so important and argh! They're gonna think I'm such a slacker now, what to do, what to do! Oh well, can't be helped and oh my goodness, isn't it the mission later? I need to get down... but **_I'M LOST_**!"

He stared. Did she realise she was talking to herself?

"Uh... I'll show you to the main observation board; it shows you how to get around."

She paused, books in arms and skirt half hitched at the back where a graze was starting from her fall, hair sticking out in ten different directions and eyes large as saucers, he was surprised he couldn't see his own reflection in them. "You will? How sweet!"

He hated himself.

"I'm Yuffie Tilmitt, new transfer, from Trabia Garden! Nice to meet...you...ah?" she offered her hand as they walked along.

"Cloud Leonhart," he scowled.

He didn't shake hands.

* * *

This was the uniform?

It was ghastly in the way that only uniforms can be rigidly and structurally horrible, with lapels and a button up collar to under his chin, fleshed out black and grey with pale streaks of blue and some red, the primary Balamb colours. Blue. He peered at it a few more minutes before deciding that he didn't really mind it, after all, poor Trabia had come worst off with blinding yellow as it's accent colours.

He changed as swiftly as he could before anyone came knocking. In the corridor outside of his room, he could hear people barging around, laughing and cajoling and hurrying on towards the final exam which would be the mission to Dollet. He paused and then picked up his gunblade and case, his specialised weapon that fired explosive rounds as well as cutting. He pocketed enough for a few fair fights and then checked over his mission form again, checking the boxes and tucking that into his jacket inner pocket. As he strode for the door with the protective case under his arm for the weapon, he paused long enough to poke at his unruly hair and then sighed. Bright yellow... maybe he should dye it brown?

-_Idiot_- he told himself and left.

* * *

He walked down the stairs to the wide foyer slowly, seeing the back of Vincent Trepe, decked out in his official SeeD uniform, all black with blue lapels and unusual zippered trousers, the same armoured glove on his left hand but his hair had been tamed back into a very girly ponytail.

Cloud said nothing, merely eyeing him. He supposed he didn't want to be the one to tell his tutor how stupid he looked.

Trepe, on the other hand, had noticed him, and trotted over with a smile, nervous one at that, "Cloud, you look good in that, like it was made for you."

"Thanks."

"I have the details of who else will be in your team," Those spectacles came out again, perching on his aquiline nose as he perused the lists and then smiled, turning, "...Tifa Dincht."

-_Oh. Joy. Someone, cut my tongue out before I say something I'll regret_.-

"..." -_Good. Managed to stay quiet_.-

Cloud looked weakly over to his left where there was a clatter of sound. Trepe called the name again and there was a whoop of excitement, followed by an enthusiastic voice calling, "Check **_this_** out!"

It was a girl of his age, with long black hair that was gathered into a curious long ponytail, the fringe swept in several different directions. Her face was heart shaped with eyes the colour of dark wine and her grin seemed to stretch her face and give her cheeky dimples. One the left side of her face, an elaborate tattoo in a tribal style smothered from jaw to temple, giving her a vaguely exotic look. Her body was slim and supple, long legged with an unfortunate tendency towards an ample bosom that did nothing to help her preventing innate clumsiness. So it was, in her short uniform skirt, heavy boots, tight jacket with short sleeves and really dangerous looking gauntlets, that Tifa Dincht back flipped, landed and gave what had to be the 'nice guy' pose.

Cloud stared emotionlessly as she then followed it up by tripping up a garden janitor and by leaning casually on the foyer menu, set off every alarm for the library. She went red, as red as Vincent's eyes and drew her hand back with a sheepish laugh and that rather embarrassed grin was large.

-_Yep. Not looking good_.-

"I'm Tifa. Wow, you're like, Cloud Leonhart... shake my hand, man!" She offered her hand, Cloud briefly thankful she wasn't close enough to trip and render him unable to reproduce ever.

He _didn't_ shake hands.

**_Ever_**.

Tifa paused and then nervously brought her hand back, scrubbing it down on her skirt, "And who's the third?"

Trepe, who had been awfully silent during this exchange (_if it could even be called that_) eyed his flip board and then sighed, "Zack Almasy, he's your team leader."

"What!" Tifa cried, eyes cutting with a glare to where Zack was striding over with his short spiked hair and that lazy, confident grin.

Cloud noted absently that Zack clearly felt the rules about clothing were not to apply to him. Idiot.

"That's right," Almasy crowed, "I'm your team leader. Got that, Chicken-wuss Dincht?"

"I've got something for you," she retorted hotly, holding up her fist as Zack threw back his head and laughed.

-_Yes. Long day... long, long, long day ahead of me...-_

* * *

He'd gone up on deck if only to escape that tension in the room, not because he was ordered to.

Vincent and Jessie had watched in despair as Almasy and Dincht had almost come to blows, between cries of chicken-wuss and other useful little insults that made Tifa look as though steam should be pouring from her ears. It was when Almasy had started bringing their tutors into the little fracas that Cloud had decided he'd go feel seasick on the deck instead and stoically pretend he was trying to decipher this really useless map they'd given him. Like it mattered, he could see Dollet.

Oh, he could see it.

Pretty close then.

There was a sudden yell from below and he turned as another ship close by leapfrogged over a rock formation, spraying him with bits of sand and sea spray from where it had bellied back into the ocean. Bits of sand was now in his hair as all sound died out from below and with caution he crept closer to see that Jessie and Vincent had finally been forced to separate the two loudmouthed idiots. He sighed and went below decks to inspire them with the good news, and reassure his queasy stomach that they'd set foot on land soon enough...

* * *

Up to now, it had gone pretty damn well.

They'd filed from the ship after it had crashed _(parked, as they tried to smooth over their poor piloting_) onto the beach and from there, listened intently to what the tutors had advised. Not willing to cough up a GF to help Almasy, he instead gave Ifrit to Tifa, knowing it would boost her physical strength, something seriously required for a fist fighter. She'd fumbled a few times, but they'd eventually slotted the junction into place.

Then they'd hurried into town, the brash Almasy scurrying ahead with that silly white coat flaring and as a team (_if three people being forced to work together could be loosely called that_) cleared the Galbadian soldiers from the town streets. Then...

...well. Then they waited.

A dog took a liking to Zack, but the dark haired warrior didn't take a liking back and after trying to chase it off, the bell in the background had struck loudly, winding out the notes into the clarity that was the evening air. Then, one by one, as they all hid and watched, the Galbadian soldiers poured from a side street and started sneaking their way up a small mountain to a strange technical rig that overlooked the land scape.

So, bright sparks, what do we do?

No, we don't report it back.

We go AFTER it! _YAY_!

...really, he **had** to start being more authorial than saying '_whatever'_ when someone suggested a route of action.

So they'd gone after the soldiers up the mountain path where they watched a man get eaten by a massive snake thing. After watching it just wolf him down like he was some kind of hot dog in the Balamb canteen, they'd split the snake seven ways from Sunday and carried on, all of them trying to swallow their lunches for the second time that day. Further up the mountain, they'd encountered Soldiers going into the strange dish shaped structure and watched for a while.

It was there Zack had proclaimed his 'romantic dream' and threatened to tell him all about it sometime. Joys.

And that's how things stood now. Until then...

"**HEY**!"

He cringed and bent his head, as Tifa paused from growling and lifted a hand to her head, peering up against the sunshine. "Who's'at?" she said loudly.

"I'm fr- _AH_!"

-_Unbelievable_. -

The girl, he knew it was that Yuffie Tilmitt without even looking around, came crashing down the side of the mountain behind them to land in a heap at their feet, legs akimbo and skirt no doubt, up around her ears. He didn't look, listening as both girls giggled and the scraping sound of her getting to her feet. Instead he focused on the grim scenery, the half broken down and derelict tower and the rough mountain shrubbery.

"Sorry, where is the leader of your team?"

Tifa glanced at him and he wearily pointed at the far off doors where Zack's white coat was glimpsed, fluttering into. Yuffie's face fell about two inches and she sighed, bending over dramatically and clutching at her head. "Uh," Tifa said nervously, brushing down her own skirt.

"No, no, no - messing up! Wait, Captain, wait!"

...and then she flung herself off this cliff to the ground below. Cloud watched. He wasn't sure he was capable of much else that would help. Tifa shrieked, with good reason, the girl tumbled over her self and landed face down in the dirt. It was only when she moved slowly to her feet with a dazed stagger that either of them dared to breathe again. Then she waved for them come after her.

Tifa stepped back from the ledge. "I am **not** suicidal."

"Me neither, let's walk around..."

So they took the long way around, a strange curving path that took them five minutes to jog around and at the other end, the girl was hopping from foot to foot in agitation and a show lacking in patience. When they got close enough, she introduced herself again to Tifa.

Unfortunately, the news she had was for the Captain only... so as before, they were dragged with the little bundle of sugar fuelled -delight- and upwards.

Cloud made a note that so far, his actual team had comprised of hot heads and idiots as the lift whirred up, bringing them to the heights where strange sounds of fighting echoed. Tifa, she wasn't that bad, if klutzy as all hell and a little too quick tempered. Yuffie however seemed the instantly excitable and energetic sort, the kind which made his teeth set themselves on edge without realising it. But she meant well and her own severe lack of self preservation made him seriously stop and think about her own personal safety as a future SeeD if she made it through. No, better not think about it. The nickname "Yuffie _'Suicidal Mission'_ Tilmitt" kept flashing in his mind.

The lift clunked and whirred to a stop, the flashing of the levels faded into the pale light of twilight that was slowly settling over the town and the soldiers that Zack was standing over, sword pointed at their inert forms. Cloud frowned.

"What happened?"

"I don't know, but I won't tolerate Galbadian scum," Zack mouthed off.

"Captain, _Captain_!"

Yuffie forced her way to the front and Zack lowered his own gunblade, peering at the scrawny girl with some surprise. Cloud sympathised, she acted so young that it was hard to believe she was of a similar level to them. "Yeah?"

"I have new orders; assemble on the beach at 18:00."

"18:00?" Tifa tilted her head, "Uh, what time is it now?"

"It's, 17:30... half an hour, guys!" Yuffie chirped, tucking hands behind her back.

"An half hour? Not enough..." Zack roughly brushed past them and to the lift. "Right then team, assemble at the beach!" And he thumbed the button, vanishing down on the lift.

Tifa clopped over the metal grate that allowed them to -**see**- under them (_something he was trying **very** hard not to do_) and shouted over the edge down to Zack, "You selfish bastard!"

Cloud raised his eyes instead, peering through the failing light at the dish which had opened above them during their slow lift ride to the top. It was large, possibly so massive a good enough gust of wind on the main face would tear the whole tower from the foundations in an uprooting manoeuvre. There was a strange prong like thing coming from the middle of it... what was it?

He didn't have too much time to mull it over, as Tifa quickly grabbed the galbadian reports scattered everywhere and he scooped up a GF that was left to the side of some other body. Then as the lift returned they all piled onto it, with not a single wisp of their notorious coward of a leader...

* * *

The fallen soldier crawled his way to the panel he'd been working on now those damned kids were gone.

Leaning over it, with the last of his feeble strength, he tapped in some codes and cackled. "Get them!" he shouted... as something heavy and spider like dropped like a stone from the sky...

* * *

This wasn't in the mission description.

Tifa stumbled for what had to be the tenth time and Yuffie was sprinting ahead of them with all of her youthful energy and exuberance, shouting to people orders as they screamed past. He cursed himself for choosing such a heavy damned weapon and risked a peek behind him at the monster which lumbered down after him still, all four legs pumping and spiking the cobbles, buckling them up with vicious force. Yes. A mechanical spider. His week was complete. A failed cavern test, a few inane galbadians, meeting his 'team', being called sweet, a cut on his face and now this. _Complete_.

So it was he knew, that when he tripped and completed a graceful arc in the downfall to the sand from the street, that this was one of those days. One of those days where they'd end up scraping him from the asphalt and putting him in a bucket, taking him home and giving him one of those closed casket funerals because basically, his smile was in seven pieces.

He watched the sand rush up to meet him.

And heard the clunk of the spider robot, it all seemed so familiar.

-_It doesn't have a scorpion tail!_

_Wait...why should..._

_...oh shit, bit TOO close... can't... LEGS. **MOVE**_

He commanded. He willed.

In defence of the legs, they did their best but it wasn't cutting the mustard - the spider soldiered on after him and then...

...he pulled a Dincht.

His foot snagged a small rock that was stuck from the dirt and before he knew it, he was tripping face first in true Yuffie style, to his face, where it would kiss the dirt. Oh. Shit.

_bambambambambambam_

He looked up after several moments of waiting for his crushing, agonised final moments and stared at the ship ahead where Vincent whirled the gun tower around and grinned. Then he got to his feet and ran like a demon possessed, like he had eaten something off and the only bathroom in existence was on that damned ship - he ran like the wind. And on getting inside, turned to see the last motions of the spider robot struggle, squish and fail. Then stop.

And inside, as Cloud slumped breathlessly on the docking bay wall, he realised that it was time to change his pants.

_- Holy... shit._

_That was close... what was this odd feeling? ...I feel like I've known my team-mates for years... but never seen a single one up close before. What is that?_

* * *

-_Tifa flashed her smile at him, her eyes bright and raised her hand._

_"Alright, we can do it, right? We'll do it together! Let's shake heaven. Let's make history and save the world!"_

_But she didn't once mention the girl in the water, despite the aches in their hearts. Because their wounds were different... because his was no less deep, just differently cut... he didn't know how to say what he should say, so instead, he said nothing at all._

* * *

_-"What are you going to do, when you get there?"_

_He was smiling gently, haloed by sunshine, but he knew Zack anywhere by that cocky, confident air he had about his, that spiked back black hair. He wore blue. He liked blue..._

_He didn't know, he just knew he was escaping. What memories? Who...was he again?_

* * *

_-The girl fell over and pretended like she'd meant to do it._

_He laughed but she got up and brandished her large shuriken, energetic, bright and with a cry of, "Cough up your materia old guys!" and he was laughing hard._

_How fun!_

* * *

_-...the water... glimmer..._

_...shimmer... her smile... she went... she went... the water..._

He sat up, gasping for breath.

That dream again, it haunted him... but the ship bunk was quiet but for the snores of Zack. So he lay down again and in the cold after sweat, pretended he wasn't frightened. But he was.

...and all he could do was breathe, badly, shortly... in... out... in...


	3. Chapter 3

-**Breathe**-

**03: Fireworks Blooming**

"_In a telescope lens,  
__When all you want is friends  
__I'll see you soon…"  
-__Coldplay-_

_(Quick A/N - the memories filtering through to Cloud's mind from his previous life  
__(as correctly guessed!) will have "-" before and after them.  
Thanks for reading and hopefully, you'll r'n'r! -B xxx )_

* * *

He felt like the dogs chew toy.

Sourly, whilst trying hard not to knock his temple on the poor design of the ship which had taken him to that hellish place, Dollet, he glared sullenly at the back of Zack's head and tried to tell himself that he wouldn't be held responsible for their 'leaders' completely idiotic take on exactly what it was to be the leader of any mission at all. So he wasn't all that surprised when his little group of fawning fanatics came running up to the Balamb Town docks. The livelier of the two waving his arms about and yelling. No, he wisely kept his mouth shut as Tifa and Yuffie came to stand with him, all of them staring down at the little disciplinary committee having their reunion.

"Yo," Cried the louder of the two men approaching. He had bright red hair and was grinning from ear to ear, wearing a slightly outdated waistcoat and very loose trousers that he was forced to pause every other step and haul them back up with a vague grunt and re-tightening of the blue sash about his waist. Reno.

The other was bald, tall and otherwise usually silent apart from giving stern, firm commands that never took occupation of more than one word, was Rude, replete in a blue double breasted jacket and dark fitted trousers. He wore an eye patch. Cloud had never had occasion to ask why the eye patch was there, but Rude could be pretty intimidating, especially when he chose to use what Cloud dubbed 'the creepy stalker silent stare'.

"How'd it go?" Continued Reno, once they were all stood close by.

Zack glared over his shoulder at them and Cloud felt Tifa tense at his next words, "Man, all they did was get in my way. What a bunch of good for nothing screw ups."

"How about I give you something to talk about, like your missing teeth!" Yelled Tifa.

_Right in my ear, now I'm partially deaf too_.

He cupped a hand to his ear and glanced sidelong at the fist fighter who was trying to work the straps to the gauntlets so they fit onto her hands better, the look on her face stern, angry and ... angry. Really, really angry. Cloud sighed; she really did have some emotion-control problems!

"Safe?" Rude said. Nope, nothing had changed. Still using one word, he noted.

"Yeah, don't I look it? No thanks to chicken wuss," Zack laughed and the three started walking off towards the main road back to Balamb garden.

"Don't take it so personally," he cautioned the girl once they'd moved from earshot. She glowered up at him then looked to the side with a pout on her lips, trying hard to look like she wasn't sulking. This only served to highlight the strange tattoo on her face. "They're morons anyway."

"Why, Cloudie, you think everyone is a moron," Yuffie chirped brightly.

It took every ounce of his strength not to hurl her to her death on the broken rocks below the pier of Balamb - that and his tutors Jessie and Vincent were coming out now too and he didn't want to mess this last hurdle up. She could wait for later. He'd add her to his - whoa, wait. He didn't have a list. Yes, too much time with Zack...

"It's just Cloud," he growled at her.

"What-ev-ar!" She smiled and turned around. His hands twitched...

"Good job everyone," Vincent said, in that drab tone he seemed afflicted with, and then he peered about with a light tilt of his head, "Uh... where is Zack? ...humph, alright, good job, as I said, you have until sundown to yourselves. Be back at Garden by then."

"Yeah." Cloud muttered and together, as a group, they meandered down to the docks. He purposefully tried walking just a little faster than the girls in order to get some time to himself, but they appeared to think that they no longer existed as singular entities beyond a group. So he was stuck with them; it was much like having insanity, he supposed. You know you're insane but can't do a damned thing about it. ...was that what he meant? There was a strange hole where he should have remembered what fitted there.

As they got closer to the car park, the car wasn't there. He stared at the empty lot for a moment, and then turned to the two girls with a sigh. "..."

"D-did they take the car? Oh, what meanies!" muttered Yuffie, folding her arms and then looking to them both, "Well, I'm not from round here, what do we do?"

"Garden isn't too far," Tifa said, brushing hair from her eyes and grinning, "Unless your legs have fallen off, let's get walking."

"Walk!"

"Yep! Move it, come on... feel the **_burn_**!"

_Fire spells burn_, he thought darkly as he followed the two energetic girls up the spiral path towards the town...

* * *

They gathered in the foyer to receive what was a hearty pat on the head for behaving themselves (_for the most part_) from the Headmaster. Tifa stretched as she wandered in, grinning as per usual so it stretched that tribal design, "Finally made it back," she mocked, glancing to Yuffie who stumbled behind wearily, using the side of the garden to stay upright.

"Seriously," she murmured as they entered the reception.

Cloud folded his arms, thumbing the scar briefly as he followed them in and peered around at the faces. Vincent waved to him, but received only waves back from Dincht and Tilmitt, who had come back without a single misplaced fire spell, a miracle in the face of how annoyed he had been getting in the interim. Cloud Leonhart didn't wave.

He _never_ waved.

"Mission complete," Jessie was saying, "I think you all did a pretty damn good job. You're all back safely with only minor cuts and abrasions, congratulations!"

"Although," Vincent said softly atop this, his tone apologetic, "We didn't have any knowledge of Galbadia seeking the communications tower at all, so we're sorry if any of that came across as being unprepared."

"We did receive word from the Dollet Dukedom, - Galbadia is to pull out as long as the tower remains operational. Curious stuff," the headmaster added finally. The Headmaster was a man who looked entirely out of place in his tank top, shirt, tie and slacks. His hair was as blond as Cloud's own and messy. To compliment this, he sported five o'clock stubble and supported a smoking habit that was strongly disapproved of by Dr Hojo. He was tall, if looking a little on the portly side, and when not forced to be in polite situations such as these, Cloud also knew that Headmaster Cid had a mouth that made the dorm toilets after _'Canteen Special'_ day look clean.

The fact he hadn't sworn yet was amusing to him, so he kept listening as the students dispersed a little, going to the rooms where they'd await notification of entry to SeeD or failure. He passed them, hearing Jessie chatter; "Well, as long as they're out of there..."

He moved towards the dorms, fully intending to get changed from these stupid uniforms when he saw Zack, leaning on the wall with his head tilted back. At his footsteps, he lowered his head and lifted black eyebrows with some surprise, "Leonhart."

"Almasy," he said coolly.

"Did you hear about the communication tower in Dollet? We would have been heroes if it weren't for that withdrawal order."

"You're wrong," It was Vincent and yet again, Cloud clamped his mouth over a scream. How did that creepy guy keep sneaking up behind him! Like some... vampire...

_-"...creepy...goddamned vampire... talking about sin this and sin..."-_

He shook his head, trying to listen in as his thoughts fragmented and wavered on the edge of some heart wrenching, shocking epiphany, and the kind of realisation that would re-align his thinking. Trepe was still talking smoothly, "You were only looking for a fight."

"I'm hurt, my dear instructor," Zack grinned, straightening up, "Those are rather cruel words for an aspiring student. A mediocre instructor like you could never understand-"

"Don't be so stuck on yourself," now Jessie came closer, hearing the ruckus and no doubt, catching the look of pain that crossed Vincent's pale face when Zack spoke, "_You'll_ take **all** responsibility for leaving the designated area." She shared a small smile with Vincent, who then looked to Cloud.

_Creepy, creepy staring... take a picture, it lasts longer_.

"Isn't it the Captain's duty to take the best possible action?" Almasy continued, turning red with his rising frustration, the words riding up the volume scale.

"Zack," The soft spoken female tutor said firmly, "You'll **never** be a SeeD. Calling yourself a Captain is a joke."

Cloud blanched at the words as Jessie left; words he'd half hoped to hear because of that stinging rivalry always directed at him, for once giving him some upper hand, but the look of intense hatred that melted across Zack's face was unbearable too, in it's own way. Headmaster Cid approached from the foyer spoke briefly with Trepe who left after Jessie and came to stand close by Cloud and Zack, shaking his head. Cloud could hear the cursing under his breath from this distance and he half-smirked. Okay, perhaps he couldn't go certain amounts of time without blistering the air with curses.

"Zack, you will be disciplined for your irresponsible action," he said finally. Almasy hung his head, shaking from head to foot. Was he... crying? "You must follow orders during combat. But..." The voice of the elder blond softened, "I'm not entirely without sympathy. I don't want you all to become machines. I want you all to be able to think and act for yourselves. I am..."

"Headmaster."

Cloud peered over his shoulder, expression souring further if it were possible. A red robe clad man hovered behind them, covered in the robes so not an inch of skin was being flashed; he waved a hand in a rather officious way at the headmaster.

"You have some business in your office." A pause, then grudgingly he added, "..._sir_."

"There are so many issues at hand here," he sighed, leaving.

Then the tannoy blared into life: _"Will all participants of today's Field exam please go to the second floor hallway... I repeat..."_

He looked back from the headmaster and the crony who had dared to order him around, to Almasy who was staring aimlessly now into the vast trenches of water that flowed throughout Balamb. He was unsure what he should say.

_Anything I say will be taken the wrong way anyway_.

"..." he managed then shrugged and started walking to the lift, a bit surprised that Almasy roused himself and followed. The lift was already up, Dincht waiting there with an excited smile on her heart shaped face as she bounced from foot to foot in delight. Cloud wondered if she secretly injected herself with sugar...

Thankfully, preventing any conversation, the lift came back down and they filed inside. Tifa thumbed the up button and in silence, uncomfortable silence it might be noted, they waited for the lift to arrive at the second floor. As one, they moved for the door, Tifa getting through first with a backward 'nyah' pull of her eye, leaving him and Almasy stuck between the doors together, neither one wanting to budge an inch. He glared at her, and then winced, as Dincht who had failed to watch where she was going, drove herself straight into a potted plant. A swift elbow in front of Zack's face and he wriggled free, getting ahead of both of them and into the hallway. He suppressed the most childish urge to repeat Tifa's action back at her.

He _never_ did childish things.

The hallway was surprisingly full and with some trepidation, he settled in a nervous posture by the fern as the other two slowly came in; Zack rubbing his cheekbone and Tifa spitting out leaves. Zack, of course, went directly to his little group of cronies, Reno and Rude, who both gave Cloud the evil eye.

He ignored them.

Like always.

Yuffie was there, looking uncharacteristically nervous as she trotted up and down the hallway, sometimes in synch with Tifa; sometimes she stopped and tried to straighten her hair. Other times, she even tried tallying up what points she may have accrued to that point, ending with a tug on her curled up hair and a moan in some northern dialect about messing up.

Ten minutes passed (luckily, he'd always been very good at waiting - the solitude of his own thoughts was enough entertainment) and finally, a red robe came wandering down the walkway to them all. As one, all SeeD hopefuls stood up straighter. Bunch of lapdogs, honestly.

Not like he was any better, though.

"Dincht, Tifa Dincht," he called.

"Oh, **YEAH**!" hollered the girl with the tribal tattoo and then with a joyful step, hurried towards the lift. Cloud sighed and waited.

"Tilmitt, Yuffie Tilmitt."

"_Woohoo_, count my lucky stars," chirped the young girl and fled after Tifa, who he could hear greet the smaller girl with a giggle of delight. For once, he was actually sort of hoping he'd messed up enough to evade their nonsensical whooping and giggles...

"Cloud... Cloud Leonhart from Squad B, please step forward."

_Yeah. Lucky_.

He sighed and followed the others, hearing the groans of disappointment behind him, eclipsed by the sudden grasping of his hand and the delighted smiles of the girls who helped him so kindly into the lift, followed by the red robe who assumed a cool, dignified air of frosty silence, doing nothing to dampen down either Tifa or Yuffie. He envied the man, how could he ignore them?

"I hope you are ready," is all he said, pressing the up button.

_Ready?_

_-"Are you ready, Cloud?" there was a hand...-_

"...Yeah," he said softly, but unsure to which voice he replied...

* * *

She was there. After the embarrassing reception by their previous classmates all clapping and the like for them, he'd hoped his dorm room would have been some solace for him - maybe spend time moving his stuff over to his new room or something that easy. But now... no such luck - the energiser bunny had him trapped.

Yuffie twirled, dressed in the official uniform of a SeeD, black with a vague blush of red in a necktie at their throats. Only her skirt seemed to need seriously feeding, it was malnourished and almost non existent under that jacket she wore. "Well, how do I look! Your uniform is in there, get changed!"

"...Why?"

"Inauguration Ball, silly," she chided, "They hold one each year when students graduate to SeeD! It's great, drink, dancing... and something you can't get out of by frowning and muttering 'whatever'," she mocked gently. He opened his mouth to say otherwise, and then scowled as he caught the familiar 'w' trying to escape.

"Fine," he muttered darkly and hurried inside to get changed.

"Hurry, hurry," she yelled in octaves that all seemed to scale higher and higher than the last. He hurried, if only to shut that banshee screeching up...

* * *

The ballroom was beautiful.

_If_ he had a single artistic bone in his body, he _might_ have been able to appreciate the hours spent arranging the flowers with tireless care, the weeks spent making sure each and every food was widely available to all guests of varying dietary requirements, let alone the finesse with which the wines had been chosen to accompany the palate of the eater who dined graciously at the expense of the Garden. The ceiling was high and arched in a dome, glittering gold supports with decorations hanging tastefully from them: seemingly carelessly strewn about with stars and moon designs, but a practised eye could tell that hours and hours of work had gone into making sure the effect was perfect. _If_ he had been possessed of a practised eye, that is. The ballroom was furnished with tables, for the food in a long buffet style line, and smaller circular tables where chairs and benches were placed by for the dancing guests, delegates and royalty to soak their aching feet in respite from the whirl of music that fell lacklustre on his _tone-deaf_ ear. The floor was marble, glittering with some hidden aura of delight that responded with a beautiful blush of the faintest gold whenever someone stepped upon it, leaving it looking as though beauty itself was captured in the grain of the granite, which he would have found words for. But, Cloud Leonhart was _not_ a poet.

Cloud was none of these and glad of it, watching the awed smiles on the faces of those new SeeDs and friends admitted to this most prestigious of occasions. His eyes moved beyond the pretty art of the decorators to those attending: the Duke of Dollet, the Countess of Balamb, Galbadia, Trabia, smaller communities too countless to name, all whirling and enjoying the evening that celebrated him passing from beyond his fractured childhood into maturity.

He almost smiled.

Almost.

Cloud Leonhart was not a man for smiling either, so he hid it hastily into his wine, glancing to the side and up as footsteps approached him. It was Tifa, decked out in a similar uniform to the one Yuffie had, but with a slightly less embarrassing skirt, yet still flashing enough leg. Unlike Yuffie, she didn't wear the tradition knee boots of the SeeD members, but modified version with an extra plating of black down the shin that glittered. She wore her hair up tonight, probably (_and most ruefully true of all_) to prevent herself from head butting the buffet in a mad clumsy rush of insanity that she seemed prone to.

She thrust her hand at him, beaming that effortless, cheerful smile from ear to ear; energetic and rash as always. He, in turn, stared at the hand. Just _stared_ at it, nothing more, the calloused fingertips from long hours of training, the knuckles that had small white band-aids on them to cover the blisters and grazes she'd received in the many fights in Dollet. Slowly, realising that he wasn't going to grasp her hand in turn and try to wrench her shoulder from the socket with energetic hand shaking, Tifa lowered her hand with a rather embarrassed blush, opting for: "Yo, Cloud!"

"..."

"Er," she scowled a little, clearly a little nonplussed by his quiet attitude. "Having a good time? Gotta be lonely stood by yourself, warming the column with your back."

"It's quiet, I appreciate that."

"Oh wow, a whole sentence, almost, sort of," she failed to take the heavy hint and swept on, "So, just a heads up. I escaped Yuffie earlier, she's going on about the Garden committee thing - you know?"

"Yeah."

"Seems she's thinking about taking it back up. Wants people to help and give up their time for concerts and crap like that, I dunno man... why can't she just ask the old fashioned way. Is the wine any good?"

The sudden shift in topic made him lift an eyebrow to peer at Tifa as she suddenly paled and backed off. A warm glow spread through him, she'd finally taken his hint and left him alone, rushing off with a stammered apology. Smirking, a vague tug at his lips, he took a swallow of his white wine.

"**_Cloooud-ie_**!"

And _choked_ on it.

"Oh, you shouldn't try and inhale wine; it's not good for you."

He wiped his chin and glared balefully at the short transfer girl who'd made a SeeD, smiling at him, with... was that a clipboard in his hand? Even his one special night couldn't be hassle free, what a drag! "Thanks," he muttered.

"So, I'm looking for people to join the Garden committee, want to help out some time?"

"...Maybe."

Yuffie seemed to take this as a yes and began to scratch words down: did no one listen to him anymore? "Good, good. Say, you haven't seen Tifa have you, Cloudie?"

"It's _Cloud_." he growled and pointed in a fit of aggravation to where the fist-fighter had fled, "...and over there."

"Thanks, later," she chimed and skipped after Tifa. The sudden squawk of surprise from his right confirmed that he had been right to send her after the taller girl. He smirked into his wine; that was double revenge for not shutting up and calling him that stupid _'Cloudie'_. It sounded like a girls name when the young seeming Trabian said it. Honestly!

He was so lost in thought that his eyes moved up towards the dance floor, glancing over the people gathered there. Then they seemed to fall, without conscious volition, onto the petite, slender figure of a girl in a white dress, with golden brown hair scooped back into a perfect French twist. She turned from looking up, down to meet his curious gaze with bright green eyes and he felt his stomach give a strange lurch, but instead she just smiled and held up a finger. What was that supposed to mean? _'I have a finger, nyehehe!'_?

Vexed by this quandary, he turned his head a little and lifted his brows, and then to his alarm she was crossing the dance floor to stand before him, hands behind her back in a gesture that was painfully familiar all at once. She was still smiling so he flushed faintly and rubbed the back of his head, somewhat at a loss.

"Dance with me," She said, or commanded, he wasn't sure.

"I don't like dancing."

"I thought all SeeDs were trained how to dance," she muttered, a small line appearing between perfectly straight brows.

"...we do. I just don't like it."

"What, why? Is it because you don't like me?" To his surprise, she laughed and leaned forward so he was forced to press into the column - which effectively blocked his escape route, and waved a hand before his eyes, "Oooh spooky, you will like me, you -will- like me..." She pulled her hand down, "Did it work?"

"..."

"Guess not. Oh well."

Before his reactions could kick into gear (_he blamed the wine_) she was grasping his hand and leading him to the dance floor where he pulled yet another Dincht and half stumbled into her. She laughed and helped him put her hands onto her figure. He felt his neck growing hot, as if someone were breathing down there and knew he was blushing faintly.

Then they danced.

No: _she_ danced, _he_ pulled a series of manoeuvres that Tifa would be proud of... to his shame.

Once they bumped into a couple and he tried to apologise, but instead the mysterious girl was there, sticking her tongue out in protection of him. He looked at her, curiously and she just laughed and smiled back, wrinkling her nose up to the point of adorability that made his stomach feel heavier than ever.

But they danced on, and finally he caught onto her sweet and soft steps, moving with her in the dance this time instead of lagging woefully behind her like a clumsy shadow who didn't know the music at all. The world suddenly grew beautiful and he was surprised he hadn't seen the decorations, the glow of the floor or the music, sweet and delightful in his ears and his heart as they drew close to one another after an elegant spin, so close that he could hear her heart beating gently. She looked up to him, then up further as a series of bangs went off.

Fireworks, blooming in the sky.

"How pretty, like flowers," she murmured.

_-"How pretty, like flowers," the girl said softly...-_

He blinked at them, watching the fire on the night sky, lost with the voices that echoed, unable to separate one from the other. It was beautiful. It was... something distant that he knew, wasn't it? He felt her touch his shoulder and looked down.

"I'm sorry; I have to go speak to someone."

"But..."

"Congratulations," her voice was soft as the lights in the sky faded, darkening the room, she was pulling away from his arms, "On getting what you wanted."

He watched her go, unable to sort his emotions from the others, watching the sway of her hair and how she stepped and the glow that trailed after her. His heart seemed to hurt and he didn't know why. If he were a man who knew how to express himself, he would have called it something else than simply 'pain' or something unnamed, unneeded and completely unexpected. But it bloomed there like the fireworks nonetheless and stayed there, burning softly. If he were a man of prayer, he would have asked for guidance on this.

However...

Cloud Leonhart was a man without an angel to pray to.

* * *

He fell into bed, weary and needing a quick nap before meeting Vincent in the training area for Gods and demons only know what. The dreams were stronger now and he found himself confused by the people in them, the scenes that were so close to his reality but so different...

* * *

_-"The ship, she's the Shera."_

_"Shera, eh?"_

_The pilot, Cid, grinned, blond hair, stubble, cigarette in his maw and goggles atop his head, "Of course, you know, she would have loved to have seen this baby!"_

_"I know."_

_A hand touched his shoulder and Tifa slid to his side, smiling compassionately, "So why don't we go flying in it then, eh? We'll see it all for her, everything. She would want that."_

* * *

_She shattered._

_A mirror unseen, the truth unbroken, the words unspoken and the wings unfurled - all of it shattered into pieces with the heart, with the moment as she fell down into his arms with a soft murmur of his name. She was beautiful, but he consigned her to the water, the very thing she'd suffered nightmares of for weeks. Ashamed of himself, he couldn't let her go..._

_Because, wasn't she his angel?_

_...wasn't she... the one to save him?_

_With help unasked for, love untainted, a bond unconverted and a yearning unnamed._

_He shattered._

_...he shattered, because she went and he couldn't go with her._

_"Ae...r...ith..."_

_Her voice answering, with the promise of all that was summer and warm, all that was life, "Cloud."_


	4. Chapter 4

-**Breathe**-

**04: Here to Eternity and that Pit Stop you gotta make…**

'_Never got to tell you_

_I don't know what I mean to you;_

_No need to explain, anymore…_

…_but I cry, I would die if I lost you…'_

_Alex Parks – Cry_

* * *

Reluctantly, with about as much enthusiasm as someone would save and savour for a cold bath in the middle of winter, atop a frozen mountain, he tugged his boots on and then with a sigh, set off through the halls of massive structure with the sounds of the ball fading into the distance with those strange emotions the girl had roused inside him. Each step he took, he felt like he was becoming the old Cloud _'I Don't Give a Damn'_ Leonhart.

The training area cordoned off from the others, took him ten minutes to walk around to it – he passed a few students who looked as though taking shameless advantage of the free drink and the rare opportunity to indulge in such had left their livers almost dead and their stomachs bringing up everything they had ever eaten – including carrots and peas.

He noticed that no matter what you ate, you _always_ seemed to vomit those up.

Cloud wouldn't have been surprised if a person, whose diet didn't include those two vegetables ever in the course of their life, managed to somehow chuck up carrots and peas. His line of thought was transgressing into the territory of vaguely foul, so he left it there and slipped into the training area.

Trepe was waiting for him there, stuffed back into his common leathers and thick clothes – he wore a reddish brown tank top of some thick material, leather sleeves that zipped up to the shoulder where they were somehow held onto his skin _(probably duct tape)_ and thick trousers of some toughened material in the same brownish black as the sleeves. Typically, he carried the whip with him, ala bondage. It made Cloud shiver to think any further along the sickening lines it had been meandering down recently.

"You came," Trepe murmured to him. Behind the moon glasses, his eyes were bright and glowing an eerie red.

Cloud swallowed – this guy always seemed to completely unnerve him! "Yeah, well, you asked me to. Ordered would be closer."

Vincent indicated that they should walk. Unwilling to be so close but completely unable to deny such an order, Cloud stuck himself close to his side and thrust both hands into any available pockets, glaring miserably at the floor tiles as they passed. It was then that he was introduced to the random babble of information that seemed to occupy most of Vincent Trepe's free time.

He almost preferred the awkward silence of his comrades to this.

"So glad you made it as a SeeD," he blathered. He pushed open the door into the containment centre, "I mean, why wouldn't you have made it as a SeeD?"

Cloud grunted in what he hoped was a very noncommittal way and focused instead on making sure that the distracted attention of his tutor didn't land them in as some T Rexaur's lunch. He had no plans at all on being _'obento'_ for anything.

"Precisely. It was all down to how you junctioned everything so well… I doubt anyone could have done better really. Of course, Zack was a bit of a thorn in your side and everyone's side but how you coped so well with it, it made me proud to be your tutor and…"

Zack Almasy. What a pain.

Sure, when Zack kept his trap shut and wasn't trying to outdo Cloud at every turn, they got along great. Good friends make better rivals, in Zack's opinion though, so eventually, as they grew older it had turned to pure rivalry. He didn't even know when that had happened. Zack just loved being the centre of attention though and it was all Cloud could to do to avoid it at every twisting turn.

Their naturally clashing natures saw to it that they drove one another completely insane – Zack because he wanted that recognition – Cloud because he just wanted the hot headed idiot to shut up for more than half an hour in a go.

He scuffed an inoffensive rock from his path.

But things were never as simple as_: "Shut up, you give me a headache."_ Not where friendship was concerned. Of course, the same could be applied to the babble of Vincent right now, but Cloud listened because he knew it wasn't for attention, it was just in his nature to drivel on about the stupidest of stuff. It was a natural thing, and something that he couldn't help. Just like Yuffie couldn't prevent her incalculable go-get-them nature or Tifa couldn't stop either her brash temper or her utter klutziness.

After enduring the utterly fascinating talk from the tutor, it was with relief that he saw the 'secret spot' and dived towards the balcony, gulping in fresh air and then staring up at the stars. Had the fireworks stopped? That meant the girl had gone home…

"You know, I asked you here for a very special reason."

Cloud stiffened in alarm, and then turned his head – he was positive bones in his neck should creak with how slowly and stiffly he did so. With wide, worried eyes he stared at his tutor, then his whip, then even more wide eyed back to the thin and pale face of the tutor.

Vincent noticed none of this, coming to stand at the balcony with a sigh, looking down across the grassy plain where Balamb Garden had rooted itself. "I actually wanted to tell you that I have resigned as a tutor. They called me a failure. In fact, my position as a tutor is over, as of midnight."

Cloud perked a brow.

"Then I'll just be a regular SeeD, just like you. Who knows, maybe we'll end up on missions together." Vincent smiled, a sad little wisp of a smile that briefly taunted his features, and then vanished.

He folded his arms, huffing; "So you brought me all this way just to tell me this."

"Yes!" Trepe's expression slid towards tormented anguish, "I wanted to talk to someone and thought … well… don't you ever just need someone to talk to, Cloud? Don't you ever just wish you could open up to someone and tell them everything?"

"_I spent so long… Cloud… I want to meet you… no, I know, but I mean… I want to meet… you…"_

His blue eyes hardened, "No." His voice was rough, he knew that and harshly he turned his back on the tutor, "You can't go through life hoping that someone else will fix all your problems. It doesn't work that way."

"But that's not what I-"

"I assume we're done here?" He actually didn't wait for the assent and left by the door. However, like a shadow trailing after it's master, it wasn't all that long until Vincent joined him, his eyes bleak and shining a little less than the half hour before.

As he was about to turn and give the tutor another piece of his mind, there rang out a sharp cry and he turned in alarm. Vincent's hand dropped with practiced, all too dangerously casual ease to the whip hung from his belt, "Someone's in trouble."

_Great deduction there_.

"…"

Together, they ran off into the jungles of the training centre.

* * *

The girl was called Marlene, but she looked nothing like the girl in the ballroom, despite wearing white of a sort too. Her dark eyes had pinned him to the heart, as he stood with heaving chest over the corpse of the monster he had slain moments before in order to protect her. Blood seared his skin in spatter marks and the sword felt heavy, far too heavy in his hands. But he looked back because she seemed to see even deeper than he could have reasoned.

When she left, she whispered their names, both of him and Vincent.

But he was sure that he had never seen her before in his life.

Cleaning up, he had gone back to find his room had been moved into being a single one, thankfully they had moved everything he possessed across without damaging a single thing and he laid out on the bed, arm over his face whilst trying to wring sense of the night. But every time he closed his eyes, there was fire lacing the darkness and exploding into blooming hearts of magic, falling from the sky.

Tomorrow he was to be given his first mission as a SeeD, something easy no doubt, and he desperately wanted to sleep, but cynicism told him that sleep was probably the worst thing for his mind. Unfortunately, his body didn't agree, held a conference, rebelled against the mind and shut down.

As things stood, Cloud Leonhart was fast asleep and dreaming…

_It was a forest, filled with flowers and leaves and he was speaking to a girl whose face he called beautiful, perfect but it was hidden to him – he knew in his dream that she was familiar, he could have picked her from a crowd of thousands – no – millions. But knew when he woke, it was smoke and mirrors and she'd be a phantasm to him._

_She was laughing gently, and with a hand that was soft as summer sunshine laid to his skin, she tilted her head and murmured, "You know I'll be back, when it's all over."_

"_I know. Promise me then."_

"_I promise, I promise I'll be back."_

_She promised._

_Like all promises made to him, it was broken but in the cruellest way possible._

_In that dell of flowers, trees and dappled light, he caught the sadness in the shadows and curled up there to weep into his hands brokenly, swearing he wouldn't weep again, swearing he'd rely on no one again._

_This is what came of trusting._

_This is what came of relying on other people._

_There was only him left to blame for this._

"…_why did you leave me…?" he wept._

_He wept._

* * *

"Come on, mission time!"

It was the yelling through the corridor that jolted him from deep sleep into sandy eyed awareness of the world that was his, not the world he lived in, in his dreams. He scrubbed a hand onto his cheek and frowned, getting out of bed and to his feet. With a yawn, he reached for his clothes and meandered for the communal showers. Yuffie was in the hallway, trying to juggle ten different things at once, but he purposefully ignored her in the favour of hot water.

And it was blisteringly hot, much to his relief, scouring away the dreams, the sand eyed sleep like state that also came accompanied with the dreadful 'early morning stares' that afflicted everyone before coffee break and the dirt of last nights rumble in the training ground. Once he was clean, he dried himself down with a fluffy towel that had seen better years and peered at his reflection in the mirror. The scar, slanting down his face, seemed to be growing less angry with each passing day to move reluctantly into the shimmering silver of true scardom.

He thumbed it briefly, scowling at the sensation it brought, then moving away, brushed his teeth and quickly dressed.

Once he'd replaced the towel, he stepped back out into the hallway to hear Reno thundering down the hallway, laughing at something or the other. He avoided any conflict by walking directly into his room to pick up the gun blade, the case and all magical bullets for it.

Sighing to himself, he waited out the merriment of the jovial and irresponsible Reno and the steady crunch of Rude's boots until they had both passed and he stepped out into the hallway. Leaned on the wall of the corridor was Zack, who opened his violet eyes to look at him.

Cloud just looked back – he could play the 'stare' game as well as anyone.

"Take a picture, it lasts longer," muttered Zack, finally breaking the eye contact and moving down the hallway after his cronies. Cloud watched him go, then shrugged and started for the entrance way where he was supposed to meet their headmaster, foul mouth united his self.

He wondered if he would catch any new obscenities today – it was beginning to be habit forming, waiting to see what new collections of curses he could pick up from the man who was supposed to be an example of 'diplomatic' magnitude. The most diplomatic thing that Cloud had seen the somewhat easily irritated headmaster do was to not smoke in a no-smoking area.

Cloud Leonhart was a very, very cynical young man.

But he liked being that way.

It was with slowly decreasing vigour that his spirits at escaping the Garden began to wither and die within him as he spotted a flash of bright yellow among the flower sections on the outskirts of the bridge to outside the Garden. Wearily, he turned the corner so he could fully face Yuffie.

Like he, she was now able to wear whatever clothing she felt like as a SeeD. Whereas Cloud had simply opted for basic jeans with zips up the sides, a few belts, white shirt and a leather jacket with a fluffy ruff that ended at mid elbow, bearing the insignia of a lone wolf on the right shoulder, burned into the leather. Yuffie instead, chose to look like a maypole.

It wasn't a completely awful choice of colour on the girl as she danced back and forth, from foot to foot, but had the colour been one whit brighter he would have personally styled his stylist and his own sense of fashion – if it was him, that is. She wore her bobbed dark hair down to her shoulders, a kind of unusual forehead protector with a broken mountain in the centre, symbolised on a patch of shining metal. Otherwise, she wore a denim-like material in orange-yellow. It was cut so it left her shoulders as exposed as possible and as much of her legs as possible too it seemed. It barely curled over the curve of her backside. On her legs she wore knee boots, the same ones she no doubt wore in their first mission together.

She was smiling at him. _Brightly_.

"Cloudie, you're in my group?"

"…"

"Ah, I knew we'd end up being good friends. Didya see Vincent or Jessie on the way here?"

"….No."

"Aw man, who's gonna give us the orders then!" She leaned on the wall and made a little sound of frustration. He eyed her – the wall wasn't particularly tall, perhaps a mere four feet high in fact and acted as a railing more than a wall.

"Headmaster Cid." He muttered, catching sight of the old man himself wandering towards them, cursing away and puffing away on a smoke to feed his addiction, which was truly disgusting.

"He's coming here? Yeah ri- oh!" She looked down and blushed guiltily; no doubt she was going to badmouth the guy before she had caught sight of him. She waved a hand all innocent like, "Hey Headmaster Cid."

The old man was looking even more drained today if that was possible, as if yesterday someone had given him the kind of illness that everyone avoids you for having. His skin was pale and covered in a light sheen of sweat on his brow (Cloud was unsure if this was actual illness, general unfitness or because his lungs were caked into a 40-a-day habits muck). His eyes were alert however tired looking and he grunted something.

"…Sorry?" Cloud asked, hoping he had heard wrong.

"I said, Tifa should be here. Just wait and I'll debrief you all soon."

"Tifa."

"Yes."

"As in '**Disaster Dincht'**?"

"That's right."

"On a mission. With me."

The old man flashed him a grin and Cloud died a little more inside; he really wasn't the luckiest man alive. More like the _'bad'_ luckiest man alive. He glanced at Yuffie cautiously to see if she shared at least a morsel of his trepidation for their own survival at having the rather kamikaze Tifa in their group. She looked pleased. Pleased! Why would anyone be pleased? It was like having his death warrant signed and sealed for him.

Then with a hum and a whiz, he glanced about to see the girl in question arrive. On a t-board, a kind of hovering skateboard that promised high speed collisions and lots of blood and whatnot spattered everywhere, especially if the driver was reckless enough or confident enough to try it without a helmet.

She kicked the board into standing and grinned at the little group.

Tifa had exchanged her uniform and short skirt, for a serious looking set of gauntlets with thick ridges on the knuckles. She wore a heavy blue jacket that reached to mid arm and mid torso, with several straps and belts decorating it, as well as embroidery of the family Dincht crest on the back. Under this she wore a fitted white shirt that was tucked into a possibly even shorter skirt of black. Her saving grace was a swathe of cloth down her right leg to mid leg which seemed to act as some kind of guard tactic. On her feet, she wore boots much like Yuffie did, but hers were heavier and had a frontal spike on each foot, small but enough to add extra damage, as Cloud recalled, Tifa was a martial artist and used kicks to devastating effect.

But she was beaming at them, "Hey, hey, hope I didn't keep you guys wa- HEY!"

The garden red robe who had accompanied them tugged the t-board right out of Tifa's hands and she glared at. He just said in a monotone kind of voice, "This is prohibited on the Garden grounds. I will confiscate it."

"What?"

"You may apply for it again when you return from your mission."

She went an interesting shade of red, "That's _my property_, I shouldn't have to **_apply_** for it!"

"Tifa," Cid said, not unkindly, "You are SeeD now, you must be an example to the other students. So please, abide by the rules for me?"

She huffed and crossed her arms. Cloud noted that she still wore her hair pulled back into a strange little quiff – it kind of suited her. He then murmured, "We're all here now, can you explain the mission to us?"

That felt like one of the longest sentences he'd ever made and inwardly he ground his teeth. Cid, with infuriating slowness, looked over all them and then set his hands to his hips as he began to lay out the details. "Alright then. The mission involves you giving support to a group known as the Forest Owls in Timber. That place you can easily reach by train, so we pre-booked a room for you on the train leaving from Balamb. When you get off the train a representative will be there to greet you. He will say, "The Forests of Timber sure have changed," whereupon you will reply, "But the owls are still around." This is to authenticate you as SeeDs. This is a professional mission, live up to the name!"

"Alright!" Yuffie exclaimed happily, turning to Tifa, "You hear that, our first real mission helping people!"

"And here, this might help you a little on your way there," Cid muttered, palming some crummy looking, cheapskate lamp into Cloud's hands. He resisted the urge to palm it back and shrugged it with a sour look into their backpack for the journey. "Be good." He said in a magnanimous tone and then with a grumpy look for the rector who stood close by, they both went off. Cloud could hear the muttered cursing even as the Headmaster left them.

On a second thought, he drew the lamp out and stared hard at it.

_What a piece of junk_.

"I'm sure if we ever need to fend a hobo off, this will come in useful," he mumbled.

Tifa, jacket rustling as she moved and that hair looking firmly set into place with enough gel to hold down a house in a hurricane, peered across, leaning to do so. Her dark eyes narrowed and then she moved her gaze up to his, grinning. He felt uncomfortably trapped, despite there being enough degrees of escape left around him. "Hey Cloud," she said slowly, "Do you even know what that is?"

Yuffie peeked too now and he was forced to wait under their scrutiny, "Yeah, it's a junky lamp."

"Oh _ho_ **_ho_**," she laughed and took it with a blur of motion, a snatching swipe of her hand that he couldn't follow. The protest died on his lips; it wasn't worth the aggravation, so as they started walking from the garden into the rolling plains he suffered the various hops and skips of Yuffie in front.

Eventually, even his patience couldn't control itself and he snapped, "Can you put the lamp away?"

"Mmm? This old thing? You know, maybe a good buffing would help it."

"Sure. Whatever_. Just put it away_."

"After the buffing," Tifa persisted and with the lamp in hand, rubbed it vigorously on her jacket. All around them came a rather ominous rumbling noise, the ground itself slowly shaking with increasing vigour. It brought the energetic swooping of Yuffie to a standstill as she fell back with a pointing hand to the ground. Several cracks had begun to emerge, renting the ground and from the cracks a dark hand clamped onto the earth. With the sky darkening to an illusionary like state, the creature that dragged forth from the darkness was horrifying in its repulsiveness, curved horns and bat wings.

"**_Who wakes me from my slumber!_**" It boomed in hollow tones, reeking of brimstone.

Cloud glared across at Tifa who was, irrationally, hiding the black dull lamp behind her back. Catching the look of unholy ire, she went red, shamefacedly so, and muttered apologies as the denizen of the Hells came swooping for them, looking for a fight. Cloud loosened his gun blade.

…a fight it would get!

_And it's not even midday yet_

* * *

_(( A/N: sorry it's so short, can't seem to focus, gah! Starting on CH 05 - and yay, Love Not Often got finished finally! ))_


	5. Chapter 5

_(( A/N:Short update. Mwahahaha... Cloud... I am your father... ka-kooooosh))_

-**Breathe**-

**05: Demons and Angels and All stuck In-between**

_No one talks to him about how he lives,  
He thinks that the choices he makes are just his,  
Doesn't know he's a leader with the way he behaves,  
And others will follow the choices he's made…_

_Heroes are made when you make a choice…  
__-Superchick-_

* * *

The fact they had survived the experience still marginally surprised him. It seemed wrong that it should actually shock him; after all, he had been through the exact same training as everyone else and come out near the top of the class. Admittedly, seeing a huge bat winged creature of all hells, all demonology and the scrapings of whatever was growing in the back of Tifa's drawer back in garden _(he was sure that thing had sentient thought by now…)_ was likely to induce what he fondly liked to call 'brown trousers time'.

Like a pro, he had kept his head, even when Tifa had screamed and flung the lamp away irrationally so they had to spend half an hour after the fight with a grumpy looking demon, fishing the damned thing from the breaking waves as they lapped back and forth over the sandy beach. Like a pro, he had managed to soothe the hurt nerves of Yuffie when he had suggested she fetch it as she was wearing the shortest piece of clothing in creation and therefore, would suffer less staining on the clothes from salt water. Like a pro, he had silently ground his teeth when working out the nick in his gunblade from a knee jerk reaction when Tifa had tripped over a branch in yet another classic 'disaster Dincht' moment, slamming said blade deep into the face of a rock.

Like a pro, he kept chanting to himself, and because he was a pro and thankfully his companions had enough sense to realise that his temper wasn't improving after a steady few days where he had simply being forced to act social and be around people, usually the peppy kind of people that really managed to set his teeth on edge and to grating. Back and forth, with a distinct sawing noise if someone listened carefully enough.

As it was, they had managed to soothe the demon that had introduced himself in a sullen and surly manner as Diablo _(and promptly got foisted on him)_ the Guardian Force. The lamp was tucked into his backpack, slightly dented from the escapade with the water and the shore. They were now just on the brink of entering Balamb town, a small fishing port where he had come through not days before. This place was the closest to Garden that had a railway, the small and otherwise minor villages that dotted around the island weren't worth mentioning or gracing with a rail service.

The railway itself had been one of the ways to cement ties between Balamb and the Galbadian continent, where the real world power shook the politician board daily and had been the focal point of force during the Dollet incursion. It ran not only to Galbadia, but it was said, ran all the way out to a fisherman port and on towards the near mythical lands of the Esthar, which in his belief, had long since faded from any real importance.

"The railway's over by the stand that sells potions," Tifa said in a much more subdued tone of voice, itching a finger into her temple shyly and in a strange semblance of embarrassment. "We'll have to buy our tickets, but that shouldn't be a problem. Once there, we hop on the train."

"I can't wait, I bet its fun!"

Cloud spared a withering look for Yuffie, who lowered her hand shyly, "What?" he said quietly.

"Trains, they go for miles and never stop, never slow." She smiled, "Are you always this grumpy?"

"Are you always this annoying?" He retorted.

"I try _extra_ especially hard just for you."

"Goody," he grumbled and with a swing of his backpack, started towards the station, ignoring the waves that the townsfolk threw his way. He knew he should wave back and from the corner of his eye, could see Tifa waving merrily.

There wasn't a single jot of worry in her wave, not an iota of self consciousness as she waved cheerfully, calling out and answering calls from people she knew, people she had grown up with in Balamb. He wondered what that was like, having a family there for you, having someone who wouldn't go away.

His cloudy blue eyes fell back to watch his path, winding past people with a shrug of his shoulders so he wouldn't have to touch them or bump into them. The ticket booth was indeed, on the right hand side of the junk shop where he normally went for weapon upgrades _(and working out the kinks in his weapon that invariably happened in training)._ The man selling tickets wore a uniform that looked as though it had been pressed relentlessly with irons, he could probably cut himself on one of those folds.

He came to a stop by the distributor, feeling in his pocket for the cash and then blinked, the only sign of his surprise as Yuffie pawed over the money that he had been looking for. He threw her a dark look, but she just beamed back at him.

"There you go miss, three tickets for three SeeDs. The next train for Timber is departing from platform one," the ticket man smiled, "Please enjoy your journey."

Cloud took his ticket with finger and thumb, a gentle snatching motion, "Thrilled deeply, no doubt."

"Er…"

"Hey, Steff, nice threads," Tifa said, breaking right through into that awkward moment so that both Cloud and the shorter Trabian girl were forced to blink and stare at her. She seized her ticket, grinning at the man, apparently called Steff. Wasn't that a girls name, Cloud wondered.

"You like them? I thought I'd give the job a try." Steff smiled, tipping his hat. "How's your work going?"

"Oh, not bad, man, there with this fantastic ball we went to and there was fireworks and hotdogs…"

"Oh, we saw those?"

"Hotdogs?" Tifa said, blinking owlishly.

"No, Tifa, the fireworks. Jeez, get your head screwed on," He laughed, "And hurry, or you'll miss the train."

"Best advice of the day," Cloud murmured in approval and hurried along to the train, exchanging a look with Yuffie. For once, the shorter girl appeared to share his sentiment of confusion, if not despair.

The train was standard, but inside it was done in a kind of wood panelled get up, with rich plum carpet and the windows wide and clear to show the world whizzing past. After a moment of waiting for Tifa to traipse into the bay, the train slowly chugged into life and steamed away from the Balamb station.

"Train…train…"

Cloud peered at Yuffie, who was gesturing meaningfully at the console by the door. He sighed and stepped over, peering closely at the buttons before gravely making his choice and slipping his ticket into the machine. The door gave a ping and then slid open. His blue eyes went to Yuffie, who smiled and hurried inside with a little skip.

He sighed and without a word, went into the corridor too, trying not to watch the world hurrying past. For some reason, it gave him the queasiest stomach.

Close spaces… can't stand it… sick…

He shook his head and took a left into the small cabin that had been set aside for the few hours journey by train to the small city of Timber. The cabin was as garishly decorated as the outside, in plum and draperies. He sighed, feeling completely smothered by utterly unnecessary opulence and with a hand to his scar, feeling the unfamiliar ridges that still needed to heal over, he trotted inside, followed closely by his erstwhile companions.

Tifa hurried past him and bounced herself into sitting down on the luxurious curving sofa that was bolted to one side of the cabin – her chest seemed to jiggle most alarmingly and briefly he wondered if she was about to get a black eye…

"So this is SeeDs private cabin!" She whistled, dark eyes going large. "This is so cool!"

"I'm glad you're so excited," Cloud sighed. It was a long day already and it was only just midday.

Tifa scrabbled about, and then held up a magazine which had probably seen better days, and less grabbing hands. She blushed and put it to one side after seeing the contents. The front cover alone had persuaded him not to peek. "They have… so many magazines here! Check it out…_Beeria Weekly_, _Lotus Times_, _Angelic –Hugs and Kisses_… **woah**, not for adult eyes that one…" She looked up and grinned, "Say Cloud, y'know much about Timber?"

"No. The question is, do I care enough?"

"Okay!" Tifa rubbed her tattooed cheek – was she even listening to him! "Thought so, well let me fill you in. Timber used to be a country surrounded by deep forests. But eighteen years ago, Galbadia invaded and Timber fell quite easily. It became an occupied territory. It's said there's a whole bunch of resistance factions, big and small."

Cloud lifted a pale eyebrow, "…and?"

"Nope, that's it."

He sighed, looking down at his feet, "_Thank you_, Miss-Know-it-all-Tifa!"

"No problem!"

No, the girl was definitely not listening to him. What a surprise. Not.

The door clicked open and in wobbled Yuffie, hand to her forehead and the other arm limp. He turned, looking at her in some confusion as she raised misted and distant eyes to them both. "I don't… feel well."

"Maybe you should get some rest then." He groaned inwardly – she hadn't eaten since half an hour ago, maybe she'd used up all her energy bouncing over the corridor and giggling about trains or some such nonsense.

"I'm…really sleepy…" she said, her voice fading breathlessly away.

That made him look up again, "Are you okay?"

Without warning, she crumpled face down onto the couch next to Tifa, breathing listlessly. Tifa gave a start and half stood up, and then pressed woozy hands to her cheeks with alarm, sinking back down beside Yuffie. "Wh…what? I… feel…" and then she was out cold too.

Cloud wasn't a man given for irrational panic, but he knew when it was setting in, cold on his heart and bones and so with a start, he made to walk to them, "What's going on!" He demanded of their sleeping bodies. The next thing he knew, lassitude entrenched to his bones and with a spiralling of his eyes rolling back into his head, there was a distant thud until the world became devoid of sound and colour, even light…

* * *

_He was running. Beside him, two men ran quickly looking laboured, or at least the bigger and stockier one did._

_He ran because he had little choice, somewhere behind him chaos erupted and he wasn't going to get caught up in it. No, because tonight he was going to watch her play the piano softly, loudly and lovingly._

_Shaking of the sensation of danger, he paused at the fork as one of his companions spoke and he looked about, a blur of sweat and tension. "Uhh, are you sure this is the right way?"_

"…_Yeah…" and they carried on, the stockier one hooting derision as they fled along down the pathways._

_Soon they came to a copse where they stand, panting and holding chests. He smiles, a bit of a wolfish smile as he catches his reflection briefly in the blade of a weapon, a gunblade that he handles well. Green eyes, pale hair. He almost laughs._

"_Hey," says the stocky one through harsh breaths, a man of large frame he knows as Barrett Zabac. "Aren't we meant to be fighting a war here? You know, against the almighty Timber army?"_

"_Yeah so," the other said, looking as if he hadn't just ran a marathon to save his skin, not a hair from immaculate place and his hands sheathed in the deadly blades he preferred, the long standing friend Reeve Seagill. "Why are we wasting our time messin' with these animals?"_

_He likely meant the few animals of the forest that they hand tangled with – they hadn't actually seen any army men yet, just more and more of the wild animals. He was starting to disbelieve their existence too!_

"_Well... you see…uh…" He blushed. It was hot on his face._

"_Don't tell me we're lost again," Reeve sighed._

"_A-anyway, we're going home," He pointed to a truck in the distance, "Deling City, here we come!" And he started running towards the truck._

"_Yo, Sephiroth, wait!" called Barrett._

_He didn't want to wait, because he'd soon be home. As soon as he got to the truck, he gripped the outside ringed support and hauled himself inside. His friends, left with little choice followed._

_Blackness._

_Light._

_Between then and there, he was home and parking, badly. What did he know about parking? It was stationary, right? So what was the big deal? Barrett hauled himself out of the truck and then stared in horror. "You can't park here, dude," he groaned._

_He looked around; there were a couple of wheels out of the parking space admittedly..._

"_It's the middle of the street!"_

_Oh. That. Tch, always bothering with those… uh… bothersome details!_

"_Chill man," he soothed as Reeve slowly got out of the car, looking a bit green around the 'sea' gills. Oh, he was so witty… "How about a drink?"_

"_Whatever," gasped Reeve, clinging onto the truck then making a face as his arm was grabbed and he was unwillingly whirled into walking down Maine route, towards the hotel where she would be tonight, "We all know that you're not in it for the drinking. Just admit it already!"_

_Barrett chortled, "Yeah just drink some juice like a weenie and then gawk at the piano lady."_

"_Don't call her the Piano Lady!" He scowled, "That's it, and I'm not going!" To his credit, he even tried stopping there and then but Barrett was infinitely stronger and had a grip that could make rocks bleed and cry for their mama. If rocks even had mamas…_

_Why was he always thinking these inane things!_

"_You know you will," Reeve grinned, smoothing his hair back._

_The hotel itself stood on the actual road, the front opening onto the street. It was called, most grandiosely or perhaps, lacking in creativity, 'Galbadia Hotel'. It was actually quite nice inside, with a nice man at the desk, a bellhop and curving stairs down to the large room where drinks were served and the woman sat at the piano, always in her red dress and played softly and sadly a tune he couldn't recall but always hummed._

_He was propelled inside, to the smirk of the concierge who seemed to know his face as rote by now and down the stairs to a table where the waiter folded a napkin for each glass, one for each of them._

"_Welcome!" He said, without a single trace of flippancy, "Your table is ready."_

"_Uh, thanks."_

_He had his own table? Spiffy. It wasn't quite like owning a dog. At least a table was house broken. Again, with those fluffy headed thoughts! He groaned and sat down with a mutter of, "At ease men," so both his companions sank down beside him. "We're going all out tonight, right boys?"_

_The waiter came back and smiled at them, the smile of a many anticipating a tip, "May I take your order?"_

"_Usual."_

"_Same here."_

"_Keep 'em coming."_

"_So," Barrett said in tones that oozed of teasing, "Sephiroth… she should be making her appearance soon. You goin' for it tonight?"_

_His heart hammered on his ribs helplessly._

"_Yeah, go for it," Reeve threw in his support as he took those blades from his hands and slotted them carefully away. His hands looked a touch scarred from use of those weapons._

"_Whatever, can't you see she's working?"_

"_So, just give her a wave?"_

"_Give me a break…" he groaned. This was what it was always like. It was okay for them to tease him but…_

"_Hey, there she is."_

_He swallowed his breath by accident, looking out across the assembled people to where the vision in red was slowly weaving her way to the piano, a grand piano with the back open to show the strings, proof that she played for real. Her hair was caught in a simple French braid and tied with a red ribbon, her face shaped oval and heart stoppingly beautiful but it seemed so serious, so sad and marked with such gravitas._

_He promised himself that one day, he would see her smile._

_Then she set her fingers to the keys and gently, played._

_Everything from the moment of music was a blur, to the moment when she came to his table and his friends had deserted him, leaving him and the vision of red to speak, the notes echoing in his ears and promising someday, sometime, some past distant or future…_

"_May I?" She said. Even her voice was sad but sweet. He nodded dumbly and she perched next to him on the seat. In some distant part of his brain that wasn't being suffocated by the blood rushing to it, he recognised the glares of other admirers from around the bar. "Have I interrupted anything?"_

"_Oh, what? Oh, no…"_

-Great, could my tongue make any more knots?-

"_How's your leg? I noticed it sometimes cramps up when you come here."_

"_Oh, t-that? No no… it only does that when I'm nervous."_

"_Are you nervous?" She looked at him and his heart tried to claw it way out via his stomach, "You have no need to be nervous around me."_

"_S-sorry."_

"_Hey, come with me… I'd like to talk a little more privately and I think everyone is listening…"_

_He gulped, was this for real? "Sure."_

_In a daze of motions, he was following her to the suite she called his own, trying to work something out between his vertigo from all the blood rushing around inside him and the hormones raging at him – damn hormones, couldn't they take a rain check instead of trying to ruin this moment, his only moment so far, with the woman who played the piano like a lover?_

_Her room was sparse but elegant. A little like her. No smiles._

"_Thanks for coming," she said, sitting down on the edge of a bed._

"_Oh, no problem."_

"_Please, have a seat."_

_Sit? He didn't think his legs would obey him and there was already the cold cramping sensation in one, so he limped about the room, trying to work it out. Instead he simply came full circle to the door and with a sigh of regret, turned to go – he was just making a complete idiot of himself._

"_Oh, going so soon?"_

"_N-no it's not that.. I just…" he stared into those beautiful green eyes, "I'm just… such a big fan of yours, Miss Heartilly."_

"_Please, call me Ifalna." She almost smiled then, was she amused at how puppy like he seemed to her? "So, that's why you come to hear me play so often."_

"_You saw me?"_

"_You were always there, smiling whilst listening, right? You have beautiful eyes." She brushed her lips with fingertips, "But they look a little scared right now. I just want to talk, so relax, and talk whilst gazing into those beautiful eyes… please, would you like a drink? Wine perhaps?"_

"…_I… I must be dreaming," Sephiroth Loire breathed as he sat down beside his piano playing, sad and bittersweet angel, Ifalna Heartilly and forgot the world for the music in her voice and presence…_

* * *

There was a pool of something sticky under his cheek and slowly as the world faded in around him, he realised it was drool. Horrified, he pushed himself off the carpet and wiped his cheek, placing his other leather gloved hand atop the drool stain so neither girl would notice. The train announcement was blaring out, somewhat obnoxiously, "Timber, next stop!"

Tifa and Yuffie were both sat on the sofa, rubbing their eyes to rid them of sleep. He noted with wry amusement that Tifa's carefully hair gelled quiff had made pains to bend itself out of shape during her little snooze.

"Were we asleep?" He asked cautiously.

"Maybe someone released sleeping gas?" Tifa suggested, trying to tug her hair into shape.

_Maybe. Better be careful._

"Anyone hurt?" Asked Yuffie quickly, checking her own stuff, "Anyone missing anything?"

"I don't think so."

"What a relief," she patted her chest then giggled, "Everything's cool with me, I had such a nice dream!"

He eyed her. How lucky some people were, for the perpetual horror that was his own dreamscape, he'd been stuck inside the most moronic person in existence, easily. One who pondered the questions that no one should ponder. And he tried so hard to forget the way he'd acted about that woman…

"Timber, get all your belongings and leave the train in an orderly fashion, Timber, coming up, next stop!"

Yuffie stretched and started to the door, "Seriously, Sir Sephiroth was _soooo_ cool!"

"Hey," Tifa said, standing up in surprise and completely knocking her hair from shape with the motion, "There was a Sephiroth in my dream too. He's a Galbadian soldier, right?"

"Sephiroth, Reeve and Barrett…" he said slowly.

…despite the dream, those words felt distinctly familiar. Like he should… know them?

"T-There's… no way we can understand this." Yuffie tittered.

"Under normal circumstances, is there any possible way we could?" He shot back, gratified to see her wilt a little. Oh how mean did he feel for that? Well, not mean enough that he would lose sleep over it at any rate…

"…well… Let's just do what we came here to do."

"Yeah," Tifa said enthusiastically, "And find a shop that sells gel in the meantime."

"Uh, Tifa," He sighed.

"Yeah?"

"'**That**' magazine is stuck to your legs."

"Ah, get it _OFF_!"


End file.
